Thursday, April 9, 2015

On the Decision to Stay at Home

After about six weeks at home with this sweet babe, Adam and I made the decision that I would not be returning to work. In an effort to leave a job and group of people that I love, I gave them my notice and agreed to work two weeks to wrap things up. 

This decision is one that has weighed on me since the day our little one was born, but once we made the choice, I haven't looked back. Not even once. 

I recently returned to work for those two weeks and while I have enjoyed catching up with co-workers, and let's be honest, putting on real pants (as opposed to my mommy uniform of workout clothes)...I miss my baby.

We have gotten into a routine together that I just can't leave. This first week of my last two weeks of work has certainly opened my eyes to the struggles and the strength of working mothers. And let me say, I applaud you...I truly don't know how you moms do it. You are real life super heroes! I know that I could do it. I could return to work and I could do the juggling act, and perhaps with time, I could do it well. But my heart isn't in it anymore. My heart is at home.

This new job I'm taking so far has proved to be the hardest, and sometimes most frustrating job I've ever had. But it is by far the ONLY job I have ever had that has truly captured my undivided attention, and more importantly my entire heart and soul. I have been pooped on, peed on, and spit up on all before 7:30am on more than one occasion and I have (as crazy as it sounds) loved every second of it. Being Chandler's mom is a challenge that makes me want to be a better version of myself every day.

I feel so blessed and lucky that I have a loving and supportive husband who has agreed, wholeheartedly, to take on the role as our sole monetary provider. It is going to be a huge change for both of us, and we welcome it with open arms. We have received so much support of our decision from our families and friends, thank you for that! This road is going to be rocky, but so worth it.

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